"If you're not completely ready, I think our best choices are as follows. One: We could find you a warm black coat to wear while I take this one in, and you can keep both to wear as you see fit. Two: I could make you a black armband to wear over the sleeve, so that you can get the colors while still paying your respects. Three: we find you a black sweatshirt or something to wear underneath the coat, so the colors are showing but--again, there's still a nod to mourning."